Where are you headed?

Lessons on finding direction from my new puppy

Hi my friends,

Happy Memorial Day weekend! How are you? Did anyone have weddings this weekend?

On my end, I only have a few moments to write today, as my house and brain are full with multiple middle and elementary school kids, the dog, and chores I don’t really want to do. At this stage of my life, rainy long weekends feel different than they did 10-20 years ago, you know?

Anyway, as most of you know, we adopted a puppy a few weeks ago (Blue). She’s the sweetest, most loving pup and she’s making our house feel even more like a home. Yet, we’re all adjusting to a new routine.

Specifically, the mornings, between 6am - 9am, tend to be her most playful, zoomie, and chewy (!!) times of day. These are the hours we had finally grown accustomed to waking up slowly, getting ready for school, work, or relaxing with coffee and a book on the weekends. The Pinneys are creatures of habit, so it’s definitely different. But I’m trying to remember, the only consistent thing in life is change. Just like with babies, kids, jobs, family, life - routine doesn’t last forever. They (and we) adapt to change. So I’m embracing it, and I’m learning from her too.

With Blue, I’ve spent so much more time outside on walks, chatting with our neighbors and other dog owners who I’d never meet otherwise. We’ve hiked in the woods as a family more recently than we have in months.

But it’s our walks that have taught me the most.

Some days Blue loves to lead the way.

Some days, she’s easily distracted, pulling the leash towards the next shiny thing to catch her eye (or nose, or mouth).

Some days, she is so focused, it feels like she knows exactly where she’s headed.

Other days, she is hesitant as hell to move forward.

I can relate.

As a business owner, a creative director, a manager, an event planner, a happiness writer… I go through all of the same feelings. Some days I feel like a natural born leader. Other days, the next shiny thing (idea, thought, focus area, email, opportunity) distracts me from my true path. Then, there are days when I’m totally locked in, completely focused on a design plan, budget, or business goal. And, I’m sure you can relate - there are the days when I’m hesitant and uncertain, and wish I had a boss who could tell me which way to go.

What I’m learning with Blue (and myself), is:

an important piece of happiness is direction.

It turns out, research backs this up. Studies on happiness and wellbeing consistently show that what we need is not certainty, but rather direction. A sense of where we’re headed, even loosely, is one of the strongest predictors of life satisfaction.

What is also interesting to me is that it’s not the arrival that increases happiness. It’s the orientation, that path you can see or want to see. It’s moving forward that keeps us satisfied.

But the biggest thing I’ve learned about direction when walking Blue, finding the path and training her to stay on it takes a lot of work. She needs structure, clear communication, consistency, rewards, and (my) patience to pause when she freezes rather than dragging her forward. She needs me to be calm, and to help her feel safe enough to keep going.

Don’t we all need that from ourselves?

So, on days when we feel like Blue on our own paths - overstimulated, hesitant, unfocused - perhaps we can learn from this little pups walks and training. Here’s how:

• Celebrate the good walk: Reward yourself (and your team) for staying on track. Notice the focused morning, the detailed work, or the productive meeting and acknowledge it immediately. That’s the walk going well!

• Stop when you’ve pulled too far: When the shiny thing / squirrel wins and you’ve chased three new thoughts before lunch, don’t get down on yourself. Pause, reorient, and come back to the path. Maybe there is a reminder on your desk for extra effect (mood board, perhaps?). The walk only continues when you’re moving in the right direction again.

• Find people who will nudge you gently: Get a mentor, business coach, or creative partner. We all need someone who walks beside us and helps us remember where we were headed.

• Meet yourself where you are on the hesitant days: Dragging a reluctant dog forward only makes them fear the walk. On the days you can’t move, the answer isn’t ever more pressure, is it? It’s usually a smaller step. Get outside, make one decision, clean part of your desk, open the document. Tiny steps forward are still steps forward.

And let me acknowledge one last (important) thing about this little walk of ours. We’ll never 100% know if we are on the “right” path. But a path is a hell of a lot better than no path. And, I will say this, when Blue knows where home is (it’s like she can smell it, feel it, taste it) she moves with a lot more confidence, speed, happiness, and even a little swag. ;) Notice that in yourself, too.

And there we go, I’ve become the person who relates everything to their dog. ;)

What about you - how do you find direction when you feel distracted, nervous, uncertain? I’d love to know what keeps you on your path.

Photo by Karsten Würth on Unsplash

Here’s Blue when she decided to just stop and lay down during her walk. I get it, Blue. I get it.

As always, my not-so-guilty pleasures:

• If you miss watching The Summer I Turned Pretty as much as I do, then you must watch Off Campus. I binged it in two days with zero remorse. Very cheesy college rom-com, and I hear they’re filming season 2 now! Need a Briar U hoodie. IYKYK.

• It’s spring in New England! Recently I stopped for a few minutes on a walk to listen to the birds chirp and the trees rustle. The quiet made me realize how loud my brain has been lately, and how peaceful nature is.

• I really do love these lymphatic brushes. I feel like they open up my sinuses and help my allergies. I’ll pretend they are contouring my face too. ;)

Good things ahead:

This upcoming week feels slow and I’m good with that. We have a band concert for Cecily, my regular Tuesday Mahjong night, and lots of dog walks (for me and Blue!). What about you? What’s on your docket?

I hope that whichever path you’re on, you can remind yourself that some direction, not the destination, will make you the happiest.

Until next week,

Natalie