I went on a date...

plus the best beach bag, read and candle.

Hi friends,

I hope you’re well! New England summer is here—my favorite.

Don’t worry, I’ll get to the date click bait below. ;) But first…

I’m just coming off a wedding weekend in Chatham and the holiday weekend in Maine with friends. My kiddos have been at the lake with my mom all week—our happy place. Shaun and I couldn’t go this year since we need to stay close for his treatment, but I’m so glad the girls are enjoying the place my parents intentionally built for family memories. We can’t wait to get back there next summer. (Love you, Mom.)

Over the past two weeks, I’ve had a surprising amount of alone time—and it’s been incredible for my nervous system. Before that, I was certainly overstimulated. Between May 28 and June 28, we went through two rounds of chemo, moved twice (to our apartment and into storage), watched walls come down in our renovation, produced three events at Whim, and closed out the school year with all the games, recitals, and camps.

So, last Sunday, after the wedding brunch ended at Chatham Bars Inn, and my team packed up and guests had all gone home. I looked around and realized: I hadn’t been “just me” in a bit. It was quiet. And oddly familiar.

So I stayed. I sat at the beach until my impromptu room at CBI was ready. I ordered lobster pizza, watched Grace and Frankie from a fluffy bed, walked into town for iced coffee, got a deep tissue massage in an outdoor cabana, and sipped a glass of rosé at the spa pool. Alone.

And it was…fascinating.

Fascinating because the alone time was not uncomfortable. Instead, it was oddly familiar and endearing - more like having dinner with an old friend you haven’t seen in a while. A date with myself.

Here’s the science behind intentional alone time.

• 1 in 3 Americans says they rarely have time for themselves during a typical week. Yet, we spend about 6 hours a day alone, but most of that is passive (scrolling, commuting)—not restorative.

• Just 15 minutes of intentional alone time can reduce anger and increase calm. (Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin)

• 90% of creatives say they do their best thinking when alone. (Adobe Creativity Study)

• Solitude improves focus and problem-solving. (British Psychological Society)

For anyone in hospitality (or honestly, anyone at all), that’s a powerful case for building in intentional solitude.

Its another ritual & practice for your happiness.

And here’s the thing: our happiness practice doesn’t vanish in peak season. Sure, it shifts. Some days, it’s a big exhale before a call. Or a gratitude list in your head while running errands. But when you train your brain for happiness, and you give yourself intentional time to listen, it starts speaking up. It tells you what you need.

It says:
“I miss you. We should hang out more.”

And whether your brain reminds you, or I do - you don’t have to wait for the noise to quiet down in order to feel happiness. Happiness can exist within the noise, too.

Building in a date with yourself IS the quieting of the noise.

So here’s what I suggest (and I don’t care how busy you are!) Schedule a little date with yourself for sometime in the next month, intentional alone time. Add it to your calendar now and it will be a nice surprise when you see it later….

Some ideas

• Solo sunrise or sunset walk

• Picnic lunch in the park with provisions from your local market

• Spa day, mani/pedi, massage - book it for after your next event, you won’t regret it!

• 30 minutes with a book outside

• 90 minute Me Time - unstructured, just see what you need in the moment.

And here’s the real kicker - try it without your phone. (GASP!)

I can't wait to hear what you do! Any other ideas for your date with yourself? (keep it clean, folks haha)

My really pretty walk on the Marginal Way in Maine this past weekend

As always, my not-so-guilty pleasures:

• This Sand Cloud beach blanket/backpack is my favorite find. It folds into a towel and holds sunscreen, a book, your phone, and a water bottle—I ordered one for each of us.

• Minot’s Eventide candle (a gift from my sweet friend Beth LaDuca) smells like summer by the ocean—fresh, warm, and cozy.

• New England summer indulgences: lobster rolls, Arnold Palmers, nautical stripes, all things Elin Hilderbrand (currently reading The Five-Star Weekend), and these oversized earrings with everything.

Good things ahead:
My girls come home Thursday, and I cannot wait to cover them in kisses.

What about you? What’s on your docket? (other than your date, of course).

Until next week,
xo
Natalie